A Week Has Passed

 

I haven't blogged for a couple of days because I have kept myself busy.

Being at work has really helped. Day one was so hard, day two was slightly easier and day three I actually wore lipstick for the first thing since he died. Today was difficult because I was covering reception in solitude and when I am alone like that my thoughts take over so today I have been quite sad.

A week has gone by since one of the worst days of my life. My friends have been unbelievable supportive and it has really helped by going to see Millie in the evening, Cola's best friend.

Yesterday evening I think we turned a corner because she was talking to me and kicking her door. Either that or it was the smell of ripe bananas but I think we are healing together.

Tomorrow, I have booked the day off work because I am going to collect his ashes from Rosehill Pet Crematorium in Market Drayton. I am not sad because it will be lovely to have him home with me.

This weekend is a busy one for us because a few things have opened up for me since Cola died and so we will be traveling here and there and more will be revealed as they happen.

Quite a few of Cola's friends have gone before him and we always used to joke that he was "the last man standing". Vegas impacted on him very much and I don't think he ever forgot him, Sevi, Morris, Sunny even the ponies he didn't interact with but were in his block - little JJ and his mum.

It's strange going to see Millie and Cola's stable is empty.

I have been remembering the good times though and have managed many laughs and smiles. So many wonderful memories to look back on, I am truly blessed.

As difficult and painful losing Cola has been and is, I have been rewarded with so so much in life which I never would have had without him. Most of all I am grateful to him for being my listener, my healer, my therapy. He got me through my cancers and the awful botched surgery by Chester Hospital, he helped me when I lost my dad and then my mum and then most recently with Covid and experiencing empty nest syndrome. He really was the best.

For now my job is to carry on living knowing that he is always beside me with Pickles and Wilbur, I just can't see him.